Dear Jewelry Loving Men,

1. I don't understand you. Jewelry is for girls. You should know that, but some of you don't. Some of you just have to wear jewelry. Well I'm here to help you out to guide you on your jewelry wearing path. Here are some simple guidelines to follow.
2. Earrings are gross. I can't believe I even have to explain this. The diamond stud is especially disturbing so lose it. That means you Mitchell Musso.
3. Necklaces are a no no. I don't care if it is an arrowhead, lucky charm, small ring that doesn't fit on your finger, elephants tusk, silver chain, or homemade rope necklace. Don't wear it. just don't.
4. Easy on the wrists. Watches are pretty attractive so let's just have those be the only things on your wrists. Bracelets are for girls, but some of you insist on wearing them. Fine. Just don't let it be silver or gold chains. Wear one of those rubber bracelets that show your patriotism or one of those weird rope looking things. Don't wear rubber bands on your wrist because then I just want to come up and pull it.
5. Absolutely no toe rings. Okay so I have never seen this one and I doubt I ever will, but I just wanted to throw that gaggy image out there. Can you think of anything more slimy?
6. Rings. Your third finger and your fourth finger are just fine. And if you're married by all means please wear your wedding ring so I don't have a crush on you for two minutes before I find out you're married with a kid. That's just awkward.
7. Pointer finger rings are pretty bothersome. They aren't horrible, but they're kind of ugly. And they distract me when you're teaching a Sunday School lesson and keep using your hands to talk.
8. Thumb rings are worse than pointer finger rings. Don't do it. These are ugly and horrible but they aren't as bad as...
9. Pinky rings. Is there anything as ugly as a pinky ring on a boy? Okay so this isn't very common these days, but it was common back in Jane Austen's time. And unfortunately, I watch movies about Jane Austen's time and I fall in love with her men. There will be this beautiful scene then the boy's hand comes into the picture and he has a pinky ring. Uh. Totally ruins it. Just look at this picture and try and tell me the pinky ring doesn't destroy it.
10. In order to obey rules 1-9 just do the following: Don't wear jewelry unless it's a watch or wedding ring. Thanks a lot!

Love, Becky

When you grow up in a family with mostly girls:

1. You dress your little brother up as a girl and name her Benjalina.
2. You don't get any Star Wars or Lord of the Rings jokes.
3. You think action figures should remain as just toys. Of course you didn't read the comic strips so when you watch the movies you get super confused. Seriously, no more action figure movies!
4. The best part of any TV show is the romance. Whether it's Chuck and Sara, Jim and Pam, or Shawn and Jules their part in the episode makes or breaks it.
5. You get a blister on your thumb after playing Mario Kart for 1/2 an hour. Seriously. A blister. 1/2 an hour!