- I don't understand you. Jewelry is for girls. You should know that, but some of you don't. Some of you just have to wear jewelry. Well I'm here to help you out to guide you on your jewelry wearing path. Here are some simple guidelines to follow.
- Earrings are gross. I can't believe I even have to explain this. The diamond stud is especially disturbing so lose it. That means you Mitchell Musso.
- Necklaces are a no no. I don't care if it is an arrowhead, lucky charm, small ring that doesn't fit on your finger, elephants tusk, silver chain, or homemade rope necklace. Don't wear it. just don't.
- Easy on the wrists. Watches are pretty attractive so let's just have those be the only things on your wrists. Bracelets are for girls, but some of you insist on wearing them. Fine. Just don't let it be silver or gold chains. Wear one of those rubber bracelets that show your patriotism or one of those weird rope looking things. Don't wear rubber bands on your wrist because then I just want to come up and pull it.
- Absolutely no toe rings. Okay so I have never seen this one and I doubt I ever will, but I just wanted to throw that gaggy image out there. Can you think of anything more slimy?
- Rings. Your third finger and your fourth finger are just fine. And if you're married by all means please wear your wedding ring so I don't have a crush on you for two minutes before I find out you're married with a kid. That's just awkward.
- Pointer finger rings are pretty bothersome. They aren't horrible, but they're kind of ugly. And they distract me when you're teaching a Sunday School lesson and keep using your hands to talk.
- Thumb rings are worse than pointer finger rings. Don't do it. These are ugly and horrible but they aren't as bad as...
- Pinky rings. Is there anything as ugly as a pinky ring on a boy? Okay so this isn't very common these days, but it was common back in Jane Austen's time. And unfortunately, I watch movies about Jane Austen's time and I fall in love with her men. There will be this beautiful scene then the boy's hand comes into the picture and he has a pinky ring. Uh. Totally ruins it. Just look at this picture and try and tell me the pinky ring doesn't destroy it.
- In order to obey rules 1-9 just do the following: Don't wear jewelry unless it's a watch or wedding ring. Thanks a lot!
Love, Becky
Becky, thanks for the laugh! I have to say though that since I fell in love with Sir Percival Blakeney when I was 11 and he had a pinky ring (that was key to HIS survival, Marguerite's, and the many aristocrats!), I don't mind them so much (okay, today I would be bothered if I saw a man wearing one, but for the Jane Austen era, I think they're permissible). Everything else I completely agree with though!
ReplyDeleteNumber 10=yes. Why any guy would wear anything other than that is beyond me. Ew.
ReplyDeleteThat should be a new trait on Heart Throb.
You are great! I love your posts, we miss you, I hope the people of Idaho are greatly appreciative of you. I totally agree with you, and I think the nastiest one of all was the toe ring...do boys really do that? YUCK!!!
ReplyDeleteTwo actually three questions. One, CTR rings? Two, Cartouches? Three, what about Jared Bradshaw's anklets?
ReplyDeleteSo I'm finally getting around to catching up on facebook and blogs.
ReplyDeleteA. I totally agree with you- watches can be really hot, pretty much everything else, gaggy. (Oh, minus wedding ring). :)
B. I loved your last post! Totally made me laugh! I can't say I've ever gotten a blister from playing video games, but I've definitely embarrassed myself too many times trying to play them!
C. Fun talking to you today- and maybe I'll see you Halloween weekend!
that's your opinion. in my case, i'm wearing all the jewelry i want because i work so damn hard to afford my vanity... don't hinder other people's vanity simply because you want it for yourself. are you afraid that every working men would be blowing their cash on every rolex, yurman, etc and be left with nothing for you to brag with your girlfriends? and btw, has it occurred to you that jewelry is more than an accessory but an investment and will never in your lifetime depreciate? and to follow rule no.10, i'll make sure my wedding ring would cost more and so as my watch just for you to get back into your senses that i bring home the bacon
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